Paradise
by Lola-Gurl
Summary: Mai is still stuck in the illusional paradise that is the shadow realm. Yet, she longs to escape, and as she waits day after day, her mind begins to deteriorate. Will she ever escape, or will she suffer an eternity in this hell? One Shot. R


Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
**A very long authors note**: First of all, I totally suck at angsty stuff. Seriously. This is the first of ever written of it. Angst makes ME feel bad and I really don't like that feeling. I'd rather write happy stuff any day. But...after seeing the episode in which Mai was imprisoned...I knew I had to write it. Yea, I haven't seen the end of the series (at least this season) So I'm really not sure when/how she escapes, but I have a feeling it's Yugi that saves her, not Joey. Whatever. I'm just making things up here.

I got the inspiration for this short little, err...fic (could you even CALL it a fic?) from the episode (DUH) and a song by Vanessa Carlton, titled Paradise. In fact, that's where I got the idea for the title of this fic (way to go captain obvious) The words...seem to fit. So there are a few direct quotes from the song, which I included the lyrics to at the end, and a short note as to answer some questions you might have (if not, reviewing works) And as I said this is REALLY SHORT. Not even really a true chapter. Just a short little...thing. One shot, really. Oh, by the way, I'm using dub names. Just cuz' I have trouble spelling everything else. --'  
  
I would really appreciate reviews on this one. Especially since I'm tampering with a new genre that I don't generally write. It would be very helpful if you left your comments. Thank you and I hope you enjoy it.  
  
_"Words in Italics are random flashback quotes"  
_  
'thoughts are in these little thingy ma bobs!'

"And of course, this is dialogue!"  
  
With that, I do believe we are ready to begin:  
  
**Paradise**  
  
"Please.... rescue me," She mumbled. Her voice was tired, sore from the constant screaming she had done inside her cage. It had seemed a thousand years had gone by, since she gave in...and lost.  
  
_"The winner of this duel...Is Marik."  
_  
Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his face. His smile. What mattered. What could have been hers. A constant throb of pain ate her away inside, knowing that she would never see him again. Only from above, in an alternate reality, where she did not exist at all.  
  
She watched them. Every moment. In this artificial environment, that was all that existed. The same scene over and over, everyone laughing and playing in the beach below. They called happily to each other as they played, forgetting that she had ever existed. Because she didn't. She had almost forgotten herself. Was she even alive anymore?  
  
No external pain, no bleeding. Yet both killed her. She was tucked away within the grains of lost time, the sand regrets. It was funny, that she had fought so hard, to overcome the evil that threatened the world, but now, as the bottom dropped upon her, she had forgotten it all. Everything. Just like before.  
  
It was yet another day. One more to add to the many that had past. One more day...in paradise.  
  
As the artificial sun of this strange realm left, no moon rose to take it's place. The darkness slowly conquered her, making her feel cold all over. But she was already numb. The pain and agony she had been put through, would last for all eternity. She had paid the price. For ever messing with him...with Marik.  
  
_"You know the price of losing...now it's time to pay, my dear."_  
  
His words echoed in her head, constantly. Every passing moment, if it was not his words, it was Joey's.  
  
_"I'll save you, I promise! I'm not going to leave you!"  
_  
"Why haven't you come?" She asked. "Why? You promised. You said you'd save me. You....you're not going to come, are you?" She hugged her shoulders closer, trying to rekindle the warmth.  
  
The darkness that consumed her had taken everything. Her brilliant violet eyes, which once shined so brightly, had faded. The thing that once made her beautiful. That had attracted HIS gaze...was gone.  
  
The fears that had welled inside of her began to pour out of her. She was scared, and for the first time in her life, she admitted it. She was afraid of being here, and of never being able to return. He didn't want to stay here, and waste away. Yet nothing happened... She was afraid he would never come for her. Had he forgotten? 'No,' she willed, 'he wouldn't. Joey wouldn't forget me...'  
  
Yet, the only thing that soothed her were the lies she had been fed. The lies Marik had poisoned her with, over each dwelling moment. And as she slaved away, trapped within the darkness, no one dared to rescue her.  
  
She didn't want to live. Her soul had lost all purpose. If she were to die, would this go away? Would she be released from this hell, and set free? Or would it make no difference at all? Either way, death did not seem to suit her. Marik wouldn't let her die, instead, she would continue to relive this same horrible dream again and again and again. All she needed, all she wanted now, was reason to survive. To escape. To see him again.  
  
This place had taken all she had. Her hopes, her dreams, and Joey. HER light. The one who had always been there to cheer her on, whether or not he admitted it. All of that had been swept away, into the ocean below her.  
  
The sun slowly began to rise, as they day began all over again. One more day...in paradise. Yet another chance, to feel alright. To accept the past, and future that only existed to push her forward.  
  
"Don't pretend to hold it in, just let it out."  
  
She looked up as she heard the voice speak as a whisper. "What?" She asked this Invisible force.  
  
"Don't pretend to hold it in, just push it out."  
  
"Who's there?" She asked quietly, fearful. Fearful of this new and unexpected twist in the repeating pattern that was now her life.  
  
Once again, the voice said, "Don't pretend to hold it in, just let it out."  
  
The wind blew softly as the voice hummed. "Don't you try to hold it in. Don't hold it in."  
  
"What? Hold what in?" She asked again. But there was no reply. Was she going crazy? Was this all part of Marik's sick, twisted game that he played? Was this no more than the illusion that consumed her.  
  
Suddenly, the voice spoke again, not in words, but in thoughts.  
  
'Do not dwell. You cannot hold in these feelings forever. If you ever want to escape this, you need to believe that you can do so. Mai...I know that you can. You've achieved so much before, and it's all because you believed you could. You have to accept this, and overcome it. Remember what pushed you to succeed before. Find that light and Let it shine through the darkness. Through the shadows of this world'  
  
She stopped all breath in that moment. Overcome? Believe? Accept? Would she escape, with the help of whoever this was? Could she once again feel the joys she had before? Had she really been given this chance? It she had, she would will herself to try, and escape this paradise that had so long imprisoned her.  
  
"Who are you?" she asked this invisible mystery.  
  
"Yamiyari," the wind whispered.  
  
The light in the dark. And that's exactly what it was.

* * *

Lyrics to Paradise by Vanessa Carlton My main inspiration for this fic (well, other than the episode itself). Thanks very much to Vanessa Carlton for writing this beautiful song   
  
Paradise  
  
Once upon a year gone by

She saw herself give in

Every time she closed her eyes

She saw what could have been

Well, nothing hurts and nothing bleeds

When covers tucked in tight

Funny when the bottom drops

how she forgets to fight,

To fight, and its

One more day in paradise

One more day in paradise...

As darkness quickly steals the light

That shined within her eyes

She slowly swallows all her fears

And soothes her mind with lies

Well all she wants and all she needs

Are reasons to survive

A day in which the sun will take

her artificial light

Her light, and its

One more day in paradise

One more day in paradise

It's one more day in paradise

One last chance to feel alright

Alright...  
  
Don't pretend to hold it in

Just let it out

Don't' pretend to hold it in

Just push it out

Don't you try to hold it in

Just let it out and

Don't you try to hold it in

Don't hold it in, yea  
  
ah...ah..... ah...ah.....

One more day in paradise

One more day in paradise

It's one more day in paradise

One last chance to feel alright

Once upon a year gone by

She saw herself give in

Every time she closed her eyes

She saw what could have

Been

* * *

So, as you can see, this is a more serious side of my writing. Thanks to everyone who listened to me complain. I took a long time writing this, I guarantee that. It took me a while to get the words to come out the way I wanted them to. Please understand that it was hard. I'm not an 'angsty' person. I'd rather be a happy person who spends way to much time in 'sugar high land'  
  
So why'd I write this fic? Well, first off, I'm a Mai Fan. I know some people don't like her/can't stand her, and I can see why they would. But all I can say to them is that she's a heck of a lot better than Tea coughs After the episode in which she was trapped in the shadow realm by Marik, I felt REALLY bad for her. I was seriously in a bad mood for the rest of the afternoon (plus the many times I saw it again) So, I decided to lighten the load on my spirit a bit and at least PRETEND things are all right and that I can do what I will in my own fics. evil grin  
  
Well, anyway, I would appreciate it if you would review this fic (as I said before) If you want me to write more, I need to know what I'm doing right/wrong, how I could improve, etc.  
  
Thanks again,  
  
Lola-Gurl 


End file.
